I wanted to share something with you guys that’s been on my heart for a while now. Whether it was meant for one person to read or a thousand, I hope everyone who reads this leaves just a bit more encouraged then they were before:) I feel like Jesus really has spoken into a part of my heart lately, and I’ve found freedom within a certain area within me that needed to be broken free.
For years I felt like I had this weird thing happen to me every so often. Whenever I would get around certain people, close to me or not, sometimes all of a sudden it felt like a fog would come over me and all of a sudden I couldn’t be myself. As if someone had their arms around my personality and wouldn’t let it go. On the outside, I appeared to be fine… but inside a battle was happening and it was a real struggle. It would happen in an instant, with no warning. Once it happened I couldn’t shake it and would end up feeling frustrated and disappointed because I felt like whoever I was talking to at that point didn’t get to see who I truly am. I couldn’t share the thoughts on my mind, or just feel comfortable in general.
I wondered for a long time why this would happen to me. Prayed and prayed, and just recently I felt like the Lord all of a sudden opened my eyes to what was happening.
I was comparing myself to others. Within seconds if I felt inferior in any way, or that they were better than me in some area or another, I would just shut down. I would compare myself over the silliest of things, but I’ve learned comparing yourself to other people is a dangerous game to play, and there’s only one outcome… discouragement.
I’ve learned that being secure in your identity in Jesus is just absolutely vital. Otherwise, you end up subconsciously trying to be fifty people packed into one, and it’s exhausting (and impossible.) I realized I need to celebrate these qualities in other people that I love so much, rather than attempting to make myself like them. For example, I’m not the “life of the party” type girl. Even though I have friends who have loud, fun, personalities, that doesn’t mean I have to as well. I just need to appreciate that character trait about them, not try to evolve myself into it. Basically, just because I really admire something about someone, doesn’t mean I need to try and make that a part of who I am. We find freedom when we can simply just be and allow others to be who they are as well. I am who I am, and you are who you are, and we don’t need to try and be each other. Simple as that.
So if you relate to this in any way, be encouraged. It is so incredibly freeing when you realize that you are wonderfully made exactly the way you are. Love and admire others qualities that differ from yours, but also love and be confident in who you are. Every single one of us in so uniquely different, and we need to be women who are secure in that, not trying to be what everyone else is.