I decided to embark upon a 21 day, Daniel fast journey for many reasons, the main being healing from our miscarriage.I wanted to share my experience with you all, as well as share the basic fast guidelines incase any of you were curious or wanting to do something similar. I love hearing others testimonies so I thought I’d share mine!
My heart had been feeling a lot like a roller coaster. Most days were going really well, finding new joy and strength in the Lord. Then the sad days would hit and sometimes it felt like it was going to take me down and keep me there. When someone would ask how I was doing, I quit saying “I’m doing great!” and started saying “Right now, (in this moment) I’m doing good!” I’ve learned grief can sometimes be unpredictable and for that reason, I’ve learned to celebrate each minute of joy.
The sad days started coming more frequently and that was frustrating and somewhat
confusing for me, which triggered my want to do a fast to intentionally open my heart and say “Here you go, do with it what you will” and let God come in and do His work.
Here are some things I learned, or that God spoke, or that I felt during my fast. (This will be long, so grab a snack or coffee and let God speak to you through what He spoke to me!)
*If you’re wondering what a Daniel fast is, I put links at the bottom of the post to the resources/guidelines I used!
- Over the period of 21 days, I had about two hours of sadness which was quickly turned around with prayers of an intentional grateful heart. If you knew the condition of my broken heart, you would know that two hours of sadness in 21 days is a MAJOR victory!!!!!!!
- During that time of heartache, a friend/mentor texted me to ask how I was doing. It was such confirmation that God never leaves us to fight alone, and he always has someone on mission to intercede for us, whether we know it or not.
- Had a dream where God spoke of trials, but then came celebration after celebration, and many other symbols of His greatness, glory and favor, & love.
- He showed me in what relationships he wanted to bring full restoration to, and put it on my heart to start fighting for that.
- Feelings of joy joy joy! Contentment in just resting with Jesus.
- Provision for our family through some exciting opportunities.
- Through reading The Broken Way, Jesus has spoken and downloaded so much into my heart. More on that in another post.
- Breakthrough in remembrance of my past. The enemy constantly tries to throw my past in my face to distract me from my future. God came in and corrected this mindset of shame/guilt, etc., with the fact that it’s OK to remember the past. But rather than beating myself up over it, he guided me to be able to remember the past with a grateful heart. LOOK how far I’ve come. LOOK what God rescued me from! REMEMBER where I was, and be grateful that God has given me such incredible gifts despite what I deserve. Now when I think of the past, it brings me to a place of gratitude rather than negativity. HALLELUJAH!
- The Holy Spirit spoke to me “I need your obedience to take you where I want to take you this year.” Sometimes obedience is harder than it seems, so I’ve been very intentional to listen to the Holy Spirit in whatever He asks of me. It is so worth it.
- A renewed passion for my blog, my calling. The miscarriage really threw me for a loop as far as my passion for the call God has placed on my life. I feel refreshed and excited for what all He has planned for it! Such an answered prayer.
- I had been having feelings of comparison and with that came negative feelings… and that’s not like me so it was really really bugging me. Through the renewed passion for my own calling, the Holy Spirit gently reminded me I’m passionate about empowering others to dream. If I was feeling jealous or discontent with others going after their calling, I had completely missed my own mission to empower others to dream. That’s a scary thought. So thankful God came in and wrecked that comparison, because boy it was an ugly feeling!
- The No Fear Just Love blog post I wrote, was really a message that God impacted me with during my fast. I had been feeling timid to love hard for fear of getting hurt, but He corrected that for me and guided me to love BIG, always, because whether we like it or not love always leave it’s mark. But love alone is worth it.
- He showed me where my distractions were and gave me a renewed work ethic and motivation.
- I realized food had become a comfort source for me. Almost feeling like a hug in the sad moments. While God intended for us to enjoy food, it was never meant to be our blanket of comfort. Because I wasn’t allowing that source of comfort He was able to come in in a new way and comfort me like never before.
- Had some amazing opportunties that I faithfully said “Yes” to, despite the fear of being totally out of my comfort zone! They were exhilarating and exciting and I feel proud of myself for saying “yes” when the fear wanted to say “no!” SO WORTH IT.
- Feeling fully rested in God’s plan, not striving for some things He’s put on Kyle and I’s hearts.
- Lastly, during prayer, He gave me a couple beautiful pictures that still blow my mind:
– Jesus showed me a picture of himself kneeling in the middle of our prayer small group, arms up and interceding our prayers to the Father. I thought, “isn’t that just like Him… has every right to sit up on His throne yet he’s on his knees before us, listening to our prayers, and praying them to our Heavenly Father.” Wow. Wrecks me every time.
-Next he showed me that when we weep, or feel pain/sorrow, he feels it with us. He doesn’t just look down from Heaven saying “Oh you’ll be okay, I know the plans I have for you, and they are good!” No, He weeps with us. He holds our hand and doesn’t let go. When we hurt, He hurts. Yet, He doesn’t leave us there. He’s the best friend that cries with us, yet holds our hand, guides us out of the pit and into glory. In the same way, when we’re standing on the mountain tops of life, He’s there. To give us binoculars and say “Look around! Take it all in. Enjoy what I’ve given to you!” He’s such a remarkable best friend…
All I can say is… THANK YOU JESUS!!! You know, it’s interesting… the day after my fast ended I thought I would be excited to eat all the food I had said “no” to during those 21 days. The truth is, I actually wished I was still on the fast. There was a closeness and intimacy I had on that fast with the Holy Spirit that my spirit now deeply craves. He became a best friend in a deeper way I’d ever imagined possible. Was it hard to resist the chocolate, bread, etc.? Of course! Yet the whole time I thought “This is SO worth it…” and I truly wanted Jesus to work in my heart more than I wanted whatever food there was in front of me.
I hope you found this to be encouraging to you in one way or another. There are all different types of fasts, this is the one I chose for this time in my life and I really loved it! Thanks so much for reading and let me know your thoughts in the comments!
[Pics via Pinterest, here are the resources/guidelines I used for the Daniel fast.]